haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
