He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
