am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
