Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
