I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
