I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
The struggles of a small town man whore
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
