Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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