I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
