Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
