I heard we made out
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
