Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
She said her name was "party"
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
