And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I just found a bag of teeth...
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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