With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
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I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
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I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.