Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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