Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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