I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
