He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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