How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
