I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
