tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Swine flu is the new snow day.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
