He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
