So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I feel like a drive thru vagina
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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