Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
