Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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