i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
