if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
