Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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