You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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