All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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