my mouth tastes like poor choices
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
