Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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