I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
