my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
