i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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