Kareoke will never be a sober sport
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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