why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
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