Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize