Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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