mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
