Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize