If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
