my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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