Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
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She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
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