I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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