i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
