I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
