I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i barfeds in our rink
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
