Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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