I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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