new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
