I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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