You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
