Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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