we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Randomize
