she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
