Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
