i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
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It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
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I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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