the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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