Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
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It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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